Just Walk Away. Now!
Do you know when it is time to walk away? I follow author, journalist and media personality Demetria Lucas on Instagram, and she posts user submitted relationship questions from time to time. A recent question instantly caught me off guard. Long story short, a woman who turned out to be one of Lucas’s employees; is wondering if she should end her relationship with her fiancé. According to the post, her fiancé impregnated another woman. The couple has been going to therapy, and the fiancé is currently co-parenting with the child’s mother. All of this happened last year. Fast forward to the present time, and her fiancé has impregnated the same woman again. He also purchased her engagement ring (did he steal her card?) and matching designer watches on a credit card in his fiancée's name, and his vehicle is in his fiancée’s name (I can see her credit score decreasing each month). To top things off, the fiancée had a pregnancy scare as well. Now that this young lady is not pregnant, or married, she is apparently still on the fence about ending a relationship with a man that impregnated the same woman twice during the course of their relationship.
If you scroll through the comments under the post, the common theme is, “no dick is too good to ruin your credit,” and, “leave him now.” Demetria mentioned that they’ve told her what she should do several times (since she asked), but this young lady just won’t listen.
I have a few issues with this situation -- why ask for advice if you are not even going to consider taking it in the first place? Also, how dumb do you have to be to not recognize these signs? Clearly God has given you an out. Why are you sticking around? My advice; even though she probably won’t receive it, is to take the car that is in your name and try to sell it for something if you don’t need the additional vehicle. Take back that watch, and sell that too along with your engagement ring. Take the profits from your losses and pay down your credit card bill. If the couple lives together, kick his ass out! He has clearly been sleeping in someone else’s bed anyway and will have a place to stay. At this point, the fiancée is looking like the side chick. The least she can do is get out as soon as possible.
My thought for this week is simple: are you smart enough to realize when you are giving up so much of yourself in a relationship that you begin to lose sight of what is going on around you? Where is that tribe I discussed last week that will smack some sense into you when you are headed down the wrong path? Someone needs to get through to sis real quick before it is too late. Additionally, are you mature enough to receive advice when people are trying to help you? No one knows everything, and it is ok to seek help and take advice from others. Sometimes you might receive bad advice, but that’s when we need to take a step back and figure out what is right for you. If everyone is telling you the same thing, maybe it is time for you to listen.